My underwear is no longer functioning properly.  I am the constant victim of self-inflicted wedgies.  I don’t have to bend over to get them, either; sitting is sufficient.  This has nothing to do with the recent Holiday season; I’ve been enjoying myself with abandon — yes, abandon — for years.

After much thought and consideration, it’s clear my eating habits have not changed.  I eat pretty much whatever I want, whenever I want, and call it “plus maintenance.”  And so I can only assume that my metabolism is no longer up to the constant party that is my eating life.  This could prove problematic.

Here’s my dilemma:  I used up all my willpower in the 80’s.  Add to that the fact that usual motivators like shame (I have none) and pressure to conform (I prefer to be a stand-out) do not work for me, and I may have to go shopping for bigger panties.

Going up a size may bother some, but not me.  I think I’m fabulous no matter what.  However my underwear isn’t the only thing that’s too tight these days.  And the idea of leaving behind my prodigious collection of awesome cool-girl clothes is FREAKING ME OUT.  Even if the shoes still fit, I don’t think I can walk away from the wardrobe.

There’s also the niggling issue of health.  While I know that much of my quality of life and general health is determined by genetics (my doc admits to 85%), I also know that lifestyle is key.  Already plus in size, weight gain is not exactly on the “to-do” list.

I’m lucky that I got good genes to begin with.  It’s also fortunate that the things I like to eat are generally more healthful than not.  My problem is portion control.  Specifically, the lack of it.

I could definitely do better in the exercise department, too.  I’m never going to be a gym rat (in fact, the very notion sends me into hysterics); but I could add a little at-home strength training to my regular walking routine — or maybe try a little flow yoga.

I’m not really sure how I’ll break it down; but something’s got to give — besides my waistband.  I’ll have to make changes.  I don’t want to; but I will.  Because I will not give up my cool-girl clothes.  And I am so over the wedgies.


  1. tuk says

    Yes, you are fabulous. No doubt about that. ^o^

    I am pretty much just like you, eat anything anytime I want. Portion, I don’t know that word. I just eat whatever infront of me. If it’s too small, that’s fine, just find more to eat. HAHA

    Of course, I want to change my eating habit. I promise myself that I will eat more veggie than meat and more fish than steak. I think that is good enough to start with.

  2. Unmentionables Update: The panty situation is slowly improving….

a peep out of you