Top 10 Reasons I Hate Fruit

And now,
as Summer winds down
(and just for fun),
here are the…

Top 10 Reasons I Hate Fruit

 

10. Too Much Work
You cannot eat fruit with abandon.  You must be ever-vigilant of stems, rind, peel, pith, pits, seeds, worms, bugs and bad bits.  Frankly, it’s too much effort for too little return.

9. Germs
You cannot effectively wash fruit.  As such, it plays host to all kinds of natural bacterium.  Also, it’s been touched dozens of times by pickers, packers, sorters, haulers, produce managers and an untold number of potential buyers.  How can you really enjoy it knowing microbes linger?

8. Questionable Texture
Some fruits feel like eyeballs (grapes and blueberries come to mind).  Others have the consistency of mucus (hello, plums).  A few tend to be stringy (please don’t make me go there).  And the rest are oddly dry and wet at the same time.  No way I’m putting that in my mouth.

7. Too Chewy
With the exception of melon, fruit never fully breaks down in the mouth.  It simply sits there while you masticate it into submission.  This may explain the revolt that later occurs in the colon.

6. Digestion Issues
Diarrhea.  Enough said.

5. Ridiculous Names
Kumquat?  Kiwi?  Lychee?  Guava?  Boysenberry?  Next to those, even a snozzberry sounds plausible.  And that’s just wrong.

4. Too Many Varieties
Even if I liked apples, how could I possibly choose?  There are over 7000 varietals worldwide, with more than 2500 types grown right here in the United States.  Some are red; some are yellow; some are green.  Some are sweet; some are tart; and still others are somewhere in between.  I just want to know one thing:  Which one keeps the doctor away?  Nobody seems to know….

3. Drips Juice
So sorry.  The OCD princess in me simply will not abide sticky situations ~ especially those that (practically) require old rags and turpentine for clean up.  Plus I refuse to eat anything which necessitates standing over a sink.

2. Not Always Available
The one fruit I actually like (pomelos) is only obtainable two months out of the year.  Should I really risk a 10-month-long off-season “jones?”

And the number one reason I hate fruit is…

Though it’s mostly sweet, it’s…
1.  Still Not Chocolate!

Of course, if you truly care about your own good health, most nutritional experts agree that you should eat 3-5 servings of fruit each day.  To learn more, click the following link for the free PDF “Fruits and Veggies Matter.”

Comments

  1. Jo says:

    I am very glad I am not the only one who doesn’t like fruit 😉 Never did, never will. Great post!

  2. Jennifer says:

    I realize the value of fruit from a nutritional standpoint; but I’ve never been a fan. So, instead, I eat about 7-9 servings of vegetables each day. And I love my veggies!

  3. Jennifer says:

    Bonus reason: Fruitcake
    That’s right…. It’s “hate by association.”
    (Oooh, I can see that several more of you are on-board now!)

  4. Jennifer says:

    Better use of fruit:
    Hands dry? Make lemonade!
    Then rub lemon halves on the back of your hands to help them heal.

  5. Cat says:

    Hahahaha, I actually LOVE fruit, but I don’t often eat it because, yeah. Way too much of a pain to wash, peel, slice, and all that. When I’m feeling energetic, though, I love to buy a huge variety of fruit at the market and then put together a massive fresh fruit salad to eat over the next two or three days. That’s one of my favorite things to eat EVER. Just a bunch of chopped up fruit drizzled with fresh lemon juice and sprinkled with a bit of sugar.

  6. Greg says:

    You hate fruits because they’re not always available? Really? That doesn’t make sense at all. I understand it’s your blog and you have every reason to write about things you hate/love; however, I was expecting reasons that actually made sense which would justify your hatred for fruits. If you’re wondering how I got here, my girlfriend (also a fruit hater) sent me the link to your blog. I guess there are some things I’ll never comprehend since fruits to me are like water… Can’t live without them.

  7. Jennifer says:

    You can totally have my share, Greg! ;-D

  8. Greg says:

    By the way, I was eating a mango while replying to your blog. Delicious! 🙂

  9. Jennifer says:

    See? Win-Win!
    😉

  10. Dani Padilla says:

    I hate fruit so much especially because of how I have to peel stuff off of it so I can eat it and in the end it just doesn’t taste good enough for me to go through all of the work. But, I’m vegan and I’m in crosscountry so i probably need a lot of fruit. So I’m forcing myself to eat and apples and bananas every day so I don’t die.

    Oh I also hate how it’s sticky too, I have to wash my hands and face like 5 times when I eat fruit.

  11. Makisha says:

    Thank you for this. I have never eaten fruit. Not even as an infant. I know it’s texture issues. I just feel like it’s harder to lose weight because this isn’t an option. Any ideas?

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