Several months ago, as I was out stocking up on the fancy $14 bird seed mix at my local feed store, I spotted something that literally made my jaw drop. It was a small box of simple lip balm tubes, prominently positioned atop the register, bearing the name “Free Range Chicken Poop Lip Junk.”
That’s right: Free Range Chicken Poop Lip Junk. (I know. I can’t believe I just typed that, either.)
I’m not sure if it was the “chicken poop” or the “lip junk” or the fact that it was “free range” that made me stop and stare in open-mouthed wonder. But that’s exactly what I did.
When I returned for more seed the following month, I made it a point to seek out the little box of Chicken Poop. I didn’t want any lip junk for myself; but I did want to share the fact that it existed with my fellow twit-wits. You see, I take my Twitter seriously. It’s my policy to tweet only happy thoughts, useful information and assorted amusements. And surely this little gem would fall into the latter category ~ under the sub-listing “oddball discoveries,” of course.
Relieved to find the Chicken Poop was still there, I whipped out my bling-phone, fired off a few snapshots and tweeted accordingly.
My tweeple reacted with a mixture of curiosity, disbelief and disgust. A few messaged me directly to ask “did it really have chicken poop in it?” And, so, I had to go back ~ with my seeing-up-close glasses.
Trusty crystal-encrusted readers in hand, I returned once more to the feed store and the little box of tubes. Upon closer inspection, I got the answer: No, there is no chicken poop in there.
Contrary to popular belief, Free Range Chicken Poop Lip Junk does NOT taste like chicken.
Free Range Chicken Poop Lip Junk (I still can’t believe I just typed that) is an all-natural cosmetic moisturizer for the lips. In addition to beeswax and Vitamin E, ingredients include avocado, jojoba, lavender essential, and sweet orange essential oils.
It comes in a handy twist-up plastic tube of the ChapStick variety. It glides on smoothly, evenly coating the lips and giving the wearer an immediate and strong mentholated sensation.
It does NOT taste like chicken. In fact, I am unable to articulate exactly what it tastes like, but am thinking that “worst taste in the world” is not far off the mark.
Simply put, Chicken Poop tastes like crap.
Clever marketing saves this product. In the finest of print, packaging proclaims “Grandpa says: ‘If ya got dry lips, put chicken poop on ‘em so you won’t lick ‘em!‘” A-yup. This product will definitely discourage lip licking.
I would like to tell you that Free Range Chicken Poop Lip Junk works. I suspect it does. However it tastes and smells so fowl that you may not be able to leave it on long enough to find out.
Are you brave enough to put a little poop on your lips?
little blog will randomly select one reader to receive a complimentary tube of Free Range Chicken Poop Lip Junk. Just leave a little peep below and you’ll be entered to win!
Tweet this post using the hash-tag #alittleblogtoldme for an additional entry!
And, if you have not yet subscribed to little blog, click here for another chance to get the poo!
Fun Packaging from the Makers of Chicken Poop
Update!
Okay, Okay.
Because so many of you asked after reading the comments,
here’s the visual of the fancier Chicken Poop display
available in select markets.
Stay tuned.
Winner announced Friday!
UPDATE
Congratulations to little blog reader Catherine Cook….
You’ve just won a little Chicken Poop Lip Junk!
Well, I can’t say I’m anxious to put a crappy tasting lip balm on my lips — except, you know… for SCIENCE.
If it wasn’t Free-Range, they could call it Coop Poop Goop!
I would love to try this on Little Silva. He licks his lips so much in the winter that they bleed.
If they REALLY wanted to market this stuff right, the container would be Chicken-Shaped, and when you twist the head, the balm comes out it’s behind.
Really, I should be in Product Design!!
Guess what? They did. Google the product and you can see the original “chicken pooping Chicken Poop” display of 24. 😀
Mmmmmmm…..seems like I recieved a tube of Chicken poop several weeks ago from someone who happens to tweet alot! (Wonder who that might be????!) ;0)
Interestingly enough, I stowed it away in my desk; thinking MAYBE it might prove to be an odd conversation bit–however, I got it out just two days ago and have actually been using it. I don’t find it ‘fowl’ at all; in fact, it works rather well!! (And as it turns out-it HAS proved to be the odd conversation piece when people see me use it!)
PS I don’t find it ‘smelly’-but my sinus allergies are going strong at the moment and that might be the reason why!
Well, I’ve eaten chicken poop candy (that DID come out the plastic chicken’s butt). So as long as there is no actual poop in it… I throw my bovine hat into the proverbial ring.
It only makes sense that the cow would use chicken poop as lip balm. As my more entrepreneurial cow friends would say: Use mor chikin (balm)!!
Hahahah, this is hilarious!! I moved from chap stick to lip gloss because I read somewhere that chap stick is bad for you or habit forming or something, and that lip gloss lasts longer and so you don’t have to reapply as frequently. But maybe I’ve just been using the wrong kind of chap stick!!
Hmm, sounds like something I’d be dumb enough to try!
I’m not chicken. Sign me up to try Chicken Poop!
I have tried this chapstick and I love it. I like the way lavender smells so I like the smell and it really does work. My lips get so bad in the winter that they bleed but if I keep this stuff around im not in complete misery. Love it!!
As suspected.
But I just couldn’t wear it long enough to verify!